Quick Reviews

So apparently my sister, Shauna, is crazy because she wants me to review all movies I see so she knows what she should see. So here is a quick review of some i've seen lately.

Iron Man 2:

I'm sure most people have seen this by now but if not just wait for the DVD.

It's not horrible but also not good. It jumps all over the place and tries to cover too many aspects of the comic books. I just left confused.

Battle scenes should have been longer and conversation scenes should have been cut shorter. I mean we get that he's a drunk and that things aren't perfect.

Robert Downey, Jr. and Gwyneth Paltrow give good performances.

Scarlett Johansson kicking butt was pretty cool, but her acting was the same as usual.

I love Sam Rockwell but the dialogue he was given was cheesy and annoying.

I'm pretty sure Jon Favreau (Director/Actor) just wanted to put him self in it as much as possible.

It's just a popcorn movie without the popcorn fun.

Grown Ups: A Movie For Everyone... Wait I Mean No One.

So a couple of nights ago my boyfriend and I randomly went to the movies at 10 pm. We got there and stared at the board. He picked Grown Ups and I was down. I knew it wouldn't be great, but expected a family fun pic and left very confused.

It's about 5 friends meeting up after years when their old basketball coach dies. Something we've seen a million times; they all lived their lives differently but then come back together and find that bond again. The storyline didn't really go much beyond that.

Although this one was a little weird. The jokes were horrible almost as if they were for children, but then totally inappropriate things would jump in. Which is usual funny with Sandler movies but a lot of them were over kill.

Maria Bello's character breast feeding her 4 year old was funny like the first two times and then it got to be just plan stupid and gross.

I thought it was gonna end like five times; I mean how many "lets all realize that we love each other and need to gather together and say cheesy things" moments do you need?

Scenes went on way too long and made several actors I love look horrible. It just wasn't fun, like at all. I would waste the time seeing this one ever.

The A-Team

Finally and good mindlessly fun action flick. Joe Carnahan (Director) rocked it.

It was just fun. Explosions, a hot guy (Bradley Cooper), hot chick (Jessica Biel), big guns, and helicopter tricks.

I love Liam Neeson and this was a great role for him. Cooper was great, and after District 9 and this movie I am in love with Sharlto Copley he is hilarious. Quinton Jackson wasn't amazing but did alright, and was held up by a great cast. Jessica Biel is blah to me as always, but I think i'm only on person who doesn't like her so don't listen to me.

I think this will be one of few good blockbuster movies this Summer so good check it out.

Toy Story 3

Of course it was awesome. It was cute and fun. The new toys were fun and it was nice to see our old friends. Ken and Barbie were hilarious. Most people have been saying it's the best one, but I'd disagree. I still love the first one and this one didn't make me cry like the second one. Anyway it was awesome, it had tons of fun moments and overall a really good flick. Good see it. Oh and in 2D.

Eclipse

So Eclipse. I don't even know what to say about it. Kinda of the same thing as last time. I'm just a little sick of the ridiculousness of it. It stayed pretty close to the book which was good, because once upon a time I liked the book. The main actors still can't really act. The trailer made it look way more exciting, but I didn't think that would actually happen. Meh. So here is the play by play of my adventure going to see it:

I went to an early screening of Eclipse tonight (Jun 28th) with my two sisters and had an interesting time. Just eight months ago I did the same thing for New Moon and yeah you can read about that if you want.

This time was much the same as last, although I didn't have to stand in line as much thanks to my oldest sister's friend who got to the theater insanely early to wait. So me and my sis showed up at the Harkins theater around 3 to wait for wristbands.

Of course the crazy were there in their Eclipse t-shirts that they wasted $30 on and a girl who put a line of fake blood on her face from her lip to chin. Although people weren't as annoying this time. Oh and a lot of Native Americans? Team Jacob I guess.

At about 3:40 the same nice wristband lady came in with her lovely bands. I felt a little guilty I was number three when some people had spent the whole day there, but whatev.

So we left and did a little shopping and then came back around 5:45 to get back in line. I had to leave my phone in the car again, this was which is pretty painful when everywhere you look people are wearing stupid shirts.

So finally we get to go in after being wanded and search for electronics. Then we sit, wait and make fun of everyone. Thats what my sisters and I do best, well just the making fun part.

Ok lets get what was going through my head during the movie.

*Spoiler Alert* Although if you've read the books you should already know everything that happens and if you didn't read them just read it anyway, I mean seriously.

So the films opens on Riley. Kinda cute (way better than rpattz) but I wouldn't do him. He is being chased around by a vampire (Victoria) he's kind of an idiot. He just ran for a dark alley. Yup that's smart.

Ok the Eclipse title was pretty cool looking. Probably the best part.

Oh and then once again Kristen Stewarts voice over while we see trees on screen. Oh the trees.

OMG trees and glittery in the 1st 5 mins and I can't control myself.

(Oh if you can't tell im a very very very sarcastic person.)

Robert Pattinson is already a creep and this is his first scene. I'm gonna puke. Why is he always struggling to speak? I mean I get it he just lovesss her so much blah blah blah. JUST SAY WHAT YOU NEED TO SAY! Maybe he needs a better dialect coach. His voice is just too soft and creepy. He's suppose to be a man not a wimp. Ok sorry done with that.

For now.

Ok this whole first scene there faces have been like an inch apart. Hoped they brush, but I doubt Rpansy does(I mean he is British and already says he doesn't shower). Oh I should of counted how many times she touched her hair it was a lot.

Alright Kstew can you just give a little expression, like at all?

Oh wait it looks like she might smell something stinky. hmmm.

Ok I know Edward is gonna appear in the truck. O there he is. He is looking highhh. I still can't figure out why he looks a little retarded sometimes, I think its the way his head moves but not his eyes.

Stop struggling to speak!

And a new Volvo.

Ok Taylor (Jacob) is way hotter. Whats with the little mustache? Shave next time. Oh he is soo high too. Maybe David Slade (Director) thought it'd help them act better. It didn't work.

O wow more tree shots!

Bella and Jacob alone time. Ok Taylor is doing the slow soft talking thing now too. Shoot me.

Oh Taylor is acting mad apparently that means breathing really hard and slow.

Ok apparently Edwards wears ugly bracelets now. haha it's a little fem.

Ok first movie that Roslie's (Nikki Reed) wig looks half decent. Although Kristen Stewart needs to brush hers, it's way long and looks really fake.

Ok I thought Jacob was poor in the books? His clothes are looking pretty nice. You know when he has them on.

Council meeting part and flash back was actually alright.

In the bed. Bella you talk and Edward you just stare. Creep.

Just want to smack the nostrils off that ugly face of his. Why couldn't they get someone good looking to play Edward? I mean anyone can act bad you might as well make them pretty.

Oh good T.L. is back and shaved. He is was better looking in the last one.

Jacob and Bella cheese moment. "I love you". He is hotter I'd possibly do. Wow that punching sound effect was horrible.

Is Rpattz gonna cry. Grow some dude.

Nikki threw the paper down. That means she's mad.

Ew she just doesn't look good blonde, and she is usually really pretty.

Why can't any of the vampires act?

Oh my Jacob had said "ass" and "hell" this is getting crazy. Watch out parents! Maybe they're setting up for the baby clawing out of Bella in the next one. I can only hope.

Peter Facinelli's (Carlisle) accent keeps changing. Maybe he spent a lot of vamp time in Boston.

Emmit looks stupid.

I think everyone has a wig on.

Justin Bieber Vamp!

Kstew was actually kinda pretty in New Moon. What happen? I guess she still looks better than the first one.

The wolves are giant wolves now!

OMG if you only see this movie for one thing it's Jackson Rathbone's (Jasper) accent. I know jasper is suppose to have it because of his background, but it's shockingly hilarious. Sounds a bit like Forest Gump with a lisp.

Ok why doesn't Alice fix Jasper hair?

Civil War vamp sluts!

Did Jasper just suffocate another vampire? I thought they didn't breath?

Glitter Water!

I wonder how Edward and his super senses feels about Bella's morning breath.

Ok T.L. looks like he's struggling to breath and speak while carrying Kstew through forest. lol.

Charlie has some funny lines.

Edward may be gay, and a bit of a tease.

He's lips are just sooo red.

He just purposed. Say no! Cute ring. Crap she said yes. Meh they deserve each other. Oh my everyone in here is clapping.

OK we get the subtext of the three shots with Jacob in the middle of the couple. Stop doing it.

An Asian Vampire!

Ok perfect role of Kristen Stewart, being freezing cold. She gets to constantly shake and all the stuttering you could ever want!

Haha the "well im hotter" line from T.L. to Rpansy is funny, because it's true.

Great the pansy is crying again. Is he wearing eyeliner? Ok he actually looks ok in this tent scene, probably cuz it's dark.

Ok this man heart to heart scene is going on wayyy too long, but it does stay true to the book.

I'm bored.

Rpattz has creepy sideburns and Jacob has a stutter now too!

Ok that scene was way too long, but it's done.

Kstew has to act mad now so she breathing hard too.

I'm marrying someone else so i'm gonna make out with you... thats stupid.

Oh more clapping now for Bella and Jacob making out..

Fight Time!

Glad the Cullens color coordinated for this.

Crap Asian vampire is down.

Fight is actually pretty cool, but could be better.

Victoria (Bryce Howard) wins for worst wig!

Ok Pattinson actually does good when yelling at Victoria.

Oh fight is over. Already.

I want to pluck Dakota Fanning's eyebrows.

Didn't Esme have red hair in the first one?

Kstew please stop shaking and bouncing all the time. Hold still for 5 secs. Please.

Oh back to the cheese in the flower field.

I really dig that ring.

Why does edward look tan now? Ok it's over.

So that was that. I have to say I liked the look of New Moon a little better, and the fact Rob Pattinson was missing for most of it made it a better movie. But yeah this was this, just rent it one day and laugh at it, or read a book, or do anything else.

Clash of the What????

So I wasn't going to write about "Clash of the Titans" but now that it was number one for the weekend I can't keep my mouth shut.

Ok first of all it was only number one for a couple of reasons:

1. Not much competition:

The only other two movies opening this weekend were "Tyler Perry's Why Did I Get Married Too?" and as much as I love Perry not everyone does, and Miley Cryus in "The Last Song" (Ha. I'm not going to even give that any of my time) "How to Train Your Dragon" and "Alice in Wonderland" are still out but are mostly for kids.

2. We all were tricked into seeing it... and in 3D:

Yes, I watched it, but I like bad movies. No one thought it would be the greatness but Liam Neeson is in it. It has to be kind of good right?

Nope.

Ok I'll start with the pros:

1. It moved pretty quick. It was only two hours. No 20 minutes of slowly walking through the desert or long boring randomly placed sex scene. It kept moving and something was always happening.

2. Some of the battles were cool. Which is always fun.

3. Sam Worthington is hot.

4. Liam Neeson said "Release the Kraken!" and Ralph Fiennes was in it.

5. It looked pretty cool. Nothing to write home about but it was fun to watch.

And the con's:

1. Wait what happened? It moved quick, and while that's way better then sitting though a boring three hour flick, they could of added a little more time to at least explain who was who. People were just popping in from all over the place.

2. Wait what's going on? Lots of fights but the editing was off. Some would turn around with no sword and then in the reverse they'd have two! Ok, not that extreme, but you could never really tell who was fighting who or what.

3. You're HOT Sam, but you can't really act. We all kinda of saw it in Avatar but here it was bad. But I'd pick you over Rob Pattinson any day. Oh and how did Perseus get a buzz cut back then?

4. Mr. Fiennes you don't always have to sound like Voldemort, but we love you.

5. 3D? It was not shot in 3D it was just put in during post production, and it really makes no difference. Seriously it doesn't. Save your money.

6. Glitter!!!! So it's decided Zeus, our favorite God, and Edward, are not so favorite vampire, in a one on one glitter battle. Who can glitter the most? I'm pulling for Zeus his shine will burn the eyes.

7. That's not how it happened. Ok I'm not an expert in Greek Mythology, but I do know some of it. I know enough to know they got it wrong.

Ok I guess *SPOILER ALERT*

Acrisius, Perseus's Grandfather was the one who cast Perseus and his mother, Danae's in the sea. Both mother and child survived.

Perseus ended up with Andormeda.

Perseus gave Medusa's head to Athena. Getting Medusa's head was Perseus's greatest moment and it over took the big battle in the movie.

Io was a Nymph Zeus kept banging and hide her from Hera by turning her into a cow. Hera found out and tried to punish Io. Io did eventually return to human form and had Zeus's child and then went on to marry some guy and have more kids. So Perseus doesn't even end up with her and why would Zeus give his son his left overs?










*ALERT OVER*



Ok so that is that. I just had to get a few things off my chest. It's an alright movie, but I'd wait for the DVD you don't have to see it in theaters. I never saw the original so maybe that gives more insight, but whatever. That's all I have to say about that.