Monday, June 28, 2010


So Eclipse. I don't even know what to say about it. Kinda of the same thing as last time. I'm just a little sick of the ridiculousness of it. It stayed pretty close to the book which was good, because once upon a time I liked the book. The main actors still can't really act. The trailer made it look way more exciting, but I didn't think that would actually happen. Meh. So here is the play by play of my adventure going to see it:

I went to an early screening of Eclipse tonight (Jun 28th) with my two sisters and had an interesting time. Just eight months ago I did the same thing for New Moon and yeah you can read about that if you want.

This time was much the same as last, although I didn't have to stand in line as much thanks to my oldest sister's friend who got to the theater insanely early to wait. So me and my sis showed up at the Harkins theater around 3 to wait for wristbands.

Of course the crazy were there in their Eclipse t-shirts that they wasted $30 on and a girl who put a line of fake blood on her face from her lip to chin. Although people weren't as annoying this time. Oh and a lot of Native Americans? Team Jacob I guess.

At about 3:40 the same nice wristband lady came in with her lovely bands. I felt a little guilty I was number three when some people had spent the whole day there, but whatev.

So we left and did a little shopping and then came back around 5:45 to get back in line. I had to leave my phone in the car again, this was which is pretty painful when everywhere you look people are wearing stupid shirts.

So finally we get to go in after being wanded and search for electronics. Then we sit, wait and make fun of everyone. Thats what my sisters and I do best, well just the making fun part.

Ok lets get what was going through my head during the movie.

*Spoiler Alert* Although if you've read the books you should already know everything that happens and if you didn't read them just read it anyway, I mean seriously.

So the films opens on Riley. Kinda cute (way better than rpattz) but I wouldn't do him. He is being chased around by a vampire (Victoria) he's kind of an idiot. He just ran for a dark alley. Yup that's smart.

Ok the Eclipse title was pretty cool looking. Probably the best part.

Oh and then once again Kristen Stewarts voice over while we see trees on screen. Oh the trees.

OMG trees and glittery in the 1st 5 mins and I can't control myself.

(Oh if you can't tell im a very very very sarcastic person.)

Robert Pattinson is already a creep and this is his first scene. I'm gonna puke. Why is he always struggling to speak? I mean I get it he just lovesss her so much blah blah blah. JUST SAY WHAT YOU NEED TO SAY! Maybe he needs a better dialect coach. His voice is just too soft and creepy. He's suppose to be a man not a wimp. Ok sorry done with that.

For now.

Ok this whole first scene there faces have been like an inch apart. Hoped they brush, but I doubt Rpansy does(I mean he is British and already says he doesn't shower). Oh I should of counted how many times she touched her hair it was a lot.

Alright Kstew can you just give a little expression, like at all?
Oh wait it looks like she might smell something stinky. hmmm.

Ok I know Edward is gonna appear in the truck. O there he is. He is looking highhh. I still can't figure out why he looks a little retarded sometimes, I think its the way his head moves but not his eyes.

Stop struggling to speak!

And a new Volvo.

Ok Taylor (Jacob) is way hotter. Whats with the little mustache? Shave next time. Oh he is soo high too. Maybe David Slade (Director) thought it'd help them act better. It didn't work.

O wow more tree shots!

Bella and Jacob alone time. Ok Taylor is doing the slow soft talking thing now too. Shoot me.
Oh Taylor is acting mad apparently that means breathing really hard and slow.

Ok apparently Edwards wears ugly bracelets now. haha it's a little fem.

Ok first movie that Roslie's (Nikki Reed) wig looks half decent. Although Kristen Stewart needs to brush hers, it's way long and looks really fake.

Ok I thought Jacob was poor in the books? His clothes are looking pretty nice. You know when he has them on.

Council meeting part and flash back was actually alright.

In the bed. Bella you talk and Edward you just stare. Creep.

Just want to smack the nostrils off that ugly face of his. Why couldn't they get someone good looking to play Edward? I mean anyone can act bad you might as well make them pretty.

Oh good T.L. is back and shaved. He is was better looking in the last one.

Jacob and Bella cheese moment. "I love you". He is hotter I'd possibly do. Wow that punching sound effect was horrible.

Is Rpattz gonna cry. Grow some dude.

Nikki threw the paper down. That means she's mad.
Ew she just doesn't look good blonde, and she is usually really pretty.

Why can't any of the vampires act?

Oh my Jacob had said "ass" and "hell" this is getting crazy. Watch out parents! Maybe they're setting up for the baby clawing out of Bella in the next one. I can only hope.

Peter Facinelli's (Carlisle) accent keeps changing. Maybe he spent a lot of vamp time in Boston.

Emmit looks stupid.
I think everyone has a wig on.

Justin Bieber Vamp!

Kstew was actually kinda pretty in New Moon. What happen? I guess she still looks better than the first one.

The wolves are giant wolves now!

OMG if you only see this movie for one thing it's Jackson Rathbone's (Jasper) accent. I know jasper is suppose to have it because of his background, but it's shockingly hilarious. Sounds a bit like Forest Gump with a lisp.

Ok why doesn't Alice fix Jasper hair?

Civil War vamp sluts!
Did Jasper just suffocate another vampire? I thought they didn't breath?

Glitter Water!

I wonder how Edward and his super senses feels about Bella's morning breath.

Ok T.L. looks like he's struggling to breath and speak while carrying Kstew through forest. lol.

Charlie has some funny lines.

Edward may be gay, and a bit of a tease.
He's lips are just sooo red.
He just purposed. Say no! Cute ring. Crap she said yes. Meh they deserve each other. Oh my everyone in here is clapping.

OK we get the subtext of the three shots with Jacob in the middle of the couple. Stop doing it.

An Asian Vampire!

Ok perfect role of Kristen Stewart, being freezing cold. She gets to constantly shake and all the stuttering you could ever want!

Haha the "well im hotter" line from T.L. to Rpansy is funny, because it's true.

Great the pansy is crying again. Is he wearing eyeliner? Ok he actually looks ok in this tent scene, probably cuz it's dark.
Ok this man heart to heart scene is going on wayyy too long, but it does stay true to the book.
I'm bored.
Rpattz has creepy sideburns and Jacob has a stutter now too!
Ok that scene was way too long, but it's done.

Kstew has to act mad now so she breathing hard too.
I'm marrying someone else so i'm gonna make out with you... thats stupid.
Oh more clapping now for Bella and Jacob making out..

Fight Time!
Glad the Cullens color coordinated for this.
Crap Asian vampire is down.
Fight is actually pretty cool, but could be better.
Victoria (Bryce Howard) wins for worst wig!
Ok Pattinson actually does good when yelling at Victoria.
Oh fight is over. Already.

I want to pluck Dakota Fanning's eyebrows.

Didn't Esme have red hair in the first one?

Kstew please stop shaking and bouncing all the time. Hold still for 5 secs. Please.

Oh back to the cheese in the flower field.
I really dig that ring.
Why does edward look tan now? Ok it's over.

So that was that. I have to say I liked the look of New Moon a little better, and the fact Rob Pattinson was missing for most of it made it a better movie. But yeah this was this, just rent it one day and laugh at it, or read a book, or do anything else.

1 comment:

  1. That was hilarious. Except for the part where you lied and said that you wouldn't do Riley or of course Rpattz. Come on, who wouldn't you do.